Selfie du jour


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Where can we get Lisa Stansfield’s CUNTY necklace?

Where can we get Lisa Stansfield's Cunty necklace? Where can we get Lisa Stansfield's Cunty necklace?

Lisa Stansfield, just about the funnest woman in pop, went on London’s glittering Good Morning Britain yesterday to promote not her singin’, but her actin’. She’s in Northern Soul, a new film about *checks notes* Northern Soul that’s actually pretty brillian’.

Anygay, while giving an in-depth interview on a designer-imposter sofa from 8.20am until 8.26am, something untoward was hanging off her neck. Bird? Monkey? ITV swipe card? No, it was a necklace with a key attached upon which was etched ‘CUNTY’. Telly producers were oblivious, internets weren’t. The Daily Mail went loopy and had to replace the C and the U and the N and the T with an * and an * and an * and an *. Because writing ****Y lets you off, right?

Anygays, we could be here all day. The CUNTY bit has something to do with the Colony Room in Soho where Lisa and other tip-top showbiz pals used to hang out in a showbiz fashion, and boy do we have some tales about that place *pats hair*.

In conclusion, we’re getting CUNTY engraved on everything. CUNTY CUNTY CUNTY. It’s the future.

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Who wants to see the cover of Shirley Bassey’s new album? Everyone, right?

A mannequin dressed as Shirley Bassey

Is there any other artist who uses their actual title on the sleeves of their albums?

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At what point do ‘curves’ become ‘fat’?

Lose the weight, Chunks!

Exhibit A: Tits model, Kelly *checks notes* Brooks, is it? Oh, you know the one: she punches boyfriends, is always being dumped and is then photographed laughing uproariously moments later, just to prove she didn’t even want them in the first place.

Here she is pictured out. And about. Probably somewhere. Or other. We think she needed the next size up in those jeans.

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Look at HMTQ and that field of poppies at the Tower of London

Gorgeous. Nice poppies too!

The ceramic poppies are almost all there. Nearly 900,000 of them, to commemorate British and Commonwealth servicepeople killed in the First World War.

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Dan Osborne jumping in a pool naked – for a dare! – for Attitude magazine.

And they say print is dead.

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And in today’s sports news…

And in today's sports news...

Glen Tapia, whatever that means.

And that concludes today’s sports news. It’s all go!

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We’ve said it before and we’ll say it thrice times, Charlie Condou has quite the penis.

We've said it before and we'll say it thrice times, Charlie Condou has quite the penis.

Here he is with his fellow turns from Next Fall, a play at London’s glittering Southwark *checks notes* Playhouse, having distributed a mixed set of boxer briefs the likes of which rarely see the light of gay.

It’s all in aid of #Pants2HIV, which isn’t even a private reg, and it’s to raise cash-dollar for the GMFA, a charity which tries to stop people bumming without protection ‘n’ stuff.

And we have it on good authority that the next celebrity fundraising craze, #CelebrityBake, has famouses the world over sticking their heads in ovens, and if they don’t do it those poor children won’t get anything!

 

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