Get your religion out of my face!

But the gays only want to have fun…

Jesus loves everyone. Even those who bum.

In a scene reminiscent of Frankenstein or something, freaks from across the religious spectrum will be meeting in a torchlight protest outside the House of Commons tonight. And who are the mad villagers chasing with their burning torches? Why us of course! Who else could pull off the feat of uniting Christians, Muslims and Jews but a disparate nation of bum-bandits and muff-divers? Just to keep you in the loop, what this ragtag and bobtail of religious extremists wants is immunity from a new bill – the Goods and Services Act – that will make it illegal to discriminate when you have, erm, goods or services to sell. No more getting turned away from B&Bs because they don’t want gays in the same bed, that sort of thing. Live pictures from the League of Gentlemen character reunion – sorry – the Torchlight Parade tomorrow. Can you wait?

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