Jesus. Or ‘The Baby Jesus’ as we like to refer to him as.

So anyway, those that are offended by these types of things are offended that really, like, ‘offensive’ types have started selling a Jesus fancy dress kit IN SIGHT OF THE VATICAN. Be-Jeesus C-hrist, that’s just plain wrong.
A hot look

Said ‘Jesus Party Wigs’, as they have become known, include a wig, a plastic crown of thorns and a flowing brown beard and moustache. Sexy.

The basic version costs £8.40. Hardly a celebrity price-tag. It’s not known how much the deluxe version costs, but it’s thought it contains a sandal, with perhaps a donkey.

And you can get ’em in many a store within sight of St Peter’s Basilica, which is London’s Glittering Rome.

Them Vatican people ain’t happy, mind.

Another (two) hot looks

(You too could look like this… how excitement.)

‘Blasphemous’ and ‘shameful’ they shouted from the very-fancy-rooftops of the Vatican, as giant toads and hailstones as big as your house fell down from the sky. Or something.

‘The vilifying of religion is a crime and this should be investigated by the police,’ said Bishop Velasio De Paolis, secretary to the Vatican’s Supreme Court.

Calm down, dear.

‘To me,’ said a nice shopkeeper person, ‘it’s just a novelty wig and beard.’

Jesus’ thoughts on the matter are not currently known, but we’ve left a message and he promises he’ll get back to us.

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