The Brits

Can we talk about Joss Stone?

Red from Fraggle Rock

Okay, so Joss Stone. Honey, what the fuck is that accent all about? You’re not an American, you’re not even Jackie Collins – you’re from Devon. Durrrrrrrrr. So what the freak’s with the weird trans-Atlan’ic drawl? SO not a good look. And talking about good looks – that red hair business? This isn’t Fraggle Rock, this is life.

Now onto other urgent Brits ’07 matters…

The best things about this year’s awards were:

– Amy Winehouse. In every conceivable way – j’adore you we do.

– Take That. So cwute and so g-lovely and who gives a fuck that they didn’t mention Robbie Williams being in rehab? Why would they – it’s not as if he’s in Take That or anything. And Jason’s speech about his dad – s-weeeeet!

– Erin O’Connor and Roland Mouret. Sexiness in girl and gay-boy form. Mwah.

– Russell Brand. Surprisingly good? Or just good?

The worst things about this year’s awards were:

– Joss Stone. See above. And while we’re on the matter, yeah your voice is ‘good’, but it starts to grate after the first chord.

– The Arctic Monkeys’ acceptance speech. Oh, isn’t it funny to look gay! Go away you dreary freaks.

– Every other face-less indy band who just look and sound like any 15-year-old boy with a guitar.

– Red Hot Chilly Peppers. Just noise.

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5 comments to “The Brits”

  1. Could NOT believe Joss Stone’s accent last night. What a div.

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  2. Sweet, confused Joss “the voice” Stone. You’re from Teignmouth love, not Tinseltown. No mention of sweet little Nelly Furtado in all her tiny squeelingness! She was j’adorable. Oh and Red Hot Chili whatevers, yes just noise, but I’d still do the lead singer. Mmm…Buff.

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  3. Only Jackie Collins can pull of the transatlantic thing. She’s a legend! And a warning to Joss Stone – wouldn’t use that Fatty Franklin as your role model. Car-crash in the extreme!

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  4. Joss Stone is a cats cunt. There, I’ve said it.

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  5. […] The Brits confirmed everyone’s inkling that Joss Stone was a twat. […]

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