So Britney’s marketing campaign sorry public breakdown continues unabashed, she tries to top herself ‘parently, and Fedders gets granted ’emergency custody’ of the offspring.
We’re supposed to care because it’s, you know, sad.
But wait, what’s this? Some probing questions concerning said ‘breakdown’?
1. If you’re having a breakdown, why are you doing it in public for all the world to see? Oh yeah, that’s right.
2. If you’re having a breakdown, why aren’t you slumped on your sofa avoiding all contact with the general public whilst simultaneously eating your own body weight in dirty pizza? Oh yeah, that’s right.
Ps. We’re poised for that first mag spread where you’ve made a miraculous recovery, you owe it all to God, you feel blessed to have (insert number) beautiful children, and just, you know, couldn’t have done it all without the fans. And you’ll look SO beautiful with your silky shiny hair and dewy skin, that people around the world will gasp in unison, then go out and buy your comeback single and everyone will live happily ever after. Amen.