We almost woke up in a pool of our own vomit after GMTV pinged onto our televisual screens this morning and Shaun Fucking Drip-a-rama off-of the last X-Factor was on the hallowed sofa telling Ben Shepherd that, you knooooorrrr, he just loves singin’ and he really, you knooooorrrrr, wants to sing. It makes ‘im ‘appy, see.
Shaun is 17. Yes, 17. Yet has the retardness of a three-year-old.
And has the voice of that mouse off-of Bagpuss. Yet not in the slightest bit as cute.
And brings out the bully in us and makes us want to run him into a corner, grab his rucksack, and throw it away, where it will hopefully land in a pile of dog’s business.
*Shaun shakes uncontrollably and, you knoooorrrrr, cries*
Here’s his website. On which he thanks his mother and father for all their support, and for keeping his feet on the ground. What, after the giddy heights of the GMTV sofa?