The Eurovision Files 2: Brian Harvey

The second in a series of interviews with Song for Europe hopefuls. Next time: Cyndi 

Don't mention jacket potatoes. Oh okay then, do.

Last seen under the wheel of his own car whilst seeing to a baked potato (you can’t make this shit up!), Brian’s gone and made a miraculous recovery, has landed a publishing deal to write children’s books, and will be exhibiting his vast wardrobe at the V&A later in the year. Or something. Must now be referred to as ‘Brave’ Brian.

So are you enjoying being back in the spotlight?
Yeah, it’s scary but it’s good. I had a car crash and nearly died and now I’ve got an opportunity to possibly represent the UK at the Eurovision, so what a turn around!

What do you think your chances of winning Making Your Mind Up are?
To be honest, I think it could be anyone. Of course I’d love to win. To know that I’ve got it in me to come back from that and then go ‘bang’ and put a record out there and do my best…I feel like I’m being watched over. I’m not religious or nothing, but there’s something going on, there really is.

Are you fully recovered from the crash now?
Yeah, pretty much. I thought I was going to be in a wheel chair, just someone for people to laugh at. I don’t mind being laughed at as long as I can walk and run and the rest of it. I tell you what, it’s opened my eyes up to disabled people, I’ve got respect for them. I’m just like, ‘Mate, that could have been me.’ It’s all turned out for the best and I haven’t got a bit of depression at all.

Have you been able to look a jacket potato in the eye since?
Oh yeah. I had a jacket potato and went back to the crash scene and reversed out of that spot, just so I could go, ‘Right. I’ve done it now.’

It must have been weird to hear everyone call it a suicide attempt.
Yeah, because it so weren’t. You wouldn’t go there to commit suicide. A tiny little side street? You want a bit more room so you know you’ve done the job probably. I took pills twice before, know what I mean?

I still can’t work out what actually happened…
I was reversing out of a turning, and the door was open. The car went out of control and it’s hit a couple of parked cars. Where my door’s still been open, it’s thrown me out, the car’s then dragged me down the road for 40 yards along the floor, then it’s smashed parked into another car and I got caught in between.

Nasty. So, any chance of an East 17 reunion?
We done it and it lasted five minutes. I got a punch in the face from Tony!

Whatever for?
No reason. Well, he obviously thought there was a reason. I just thought, ‘No man, I’m out of here’. I’d been in hospital, I didn’t need that shit. There’s been part of me thinking, ‘Shall I ring him and say, “Look, fucking come on man, let’s sort it out”?’ I ain’t done nothing wrong and I’m sick of being told that I’m trouble. Then my manager goes on TV and puts the boot in.

Did he?
Well he’s going to ain’t he? He hates me because he knows I fucking hate him. I fucking hate Tom Watkins, mate. (There now follows a v v v v v (v) long and offensive [and v funny] rant about Tom Watkins. But we thought, ‘Better not, he could sue.’])

God, what did he do?
He’s the one that messed us up, then he sits on TV saying, ‘Brian was a fucking nightmare’.  Mate, I made you millions, you fucking fat bastard. I know things about that man…he’s lucky I’m not a bastard because I’d fucking ruin his life. Mate, you can come and sue me if you want because I ain’t got nothing. What are you gonna take? My fags and my Chapstick? [laughs]You can take ‘em if you want!


More bumf on the Brian Harvey.


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One comment to “The Eurovision Files 2: Brian Harvey”

  1. Haha, that’s funny

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