Ulrika Johnsson. Or, 10 reasons why we hate her.

Ulrika and saggy arse

Ulrika of Johnsson, je deteste.

Here’s why:

– She looks like a skank.

– She goes on shows like Shooting Stars and thinks just by being near comedians, she’s hilarious. Er, no.

– Using ‘sexual assault’ to sell a book. If John Leslie did do it, she should have had the decency to actually accuse him and let the law courts decide. Nice of you to ruin his career, etc. blah.

– She provoked the normally mild-mannered Stan Collymore to violence.

– She’s a ‘star’-fucker. They number, in no particular order: Gladiator ‘Hunter’; Mr Right, off that show (she later married then divorced him); Sven Goran Eriksson (and those nice words you had for Nancy at the time as well. We remember!); oh, and that nice Stan Collymore.

– If Sweden’s so fucking great, move back there.

– She apparently felt unsatisfied by her husband, owing to his small penis. Nice of you to tell the world. How rude! Bearing in mind, sometimes even a roll of carpet won’t touch the sides…

– Her neck is stringier than the London Philharmonic Orchestra. Gives honest stringy-necked women like Deirdre Rachid-Barlow a bad name. 

– The weird self-publicity of doing a show like ‘Am I A Sex Addict?’.
*shudders*

– Her ‘outrage’ at seeing gays on Coronation Street kissing before the watershed.

And c. and d.

Oh look, here’s another Ulrika related matter.

Anything we’ve missed on the Ulrika front? Do tell, below. Thanks.

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14 comments to “Ulrika Johnsson. Or, 10 reasons why we hate her.”

  1. I knew I wasn’t alone. She makes me want to kill. Did anyone see that documentary on her? Vile dirty pig.

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  2. Oh, the cheapness. And she’s just a fucking weather girl!

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  3. Oh I’m so glad you did this!!!! She’s detestable.

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  4. I saw that documentary and her little kid said about the whole Sven thing that it wasn’t mummy’s boyfriend, he was helping them with their kitchen. Nice to lie to your children then get them interviewed on a documentary to sell your ‘I was sexually assaulted but don’t want to press charges because… just because’ book.

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  5. Even Darren Day slagged her off and said she was a love rat! Coming from him, that’s saying something. Hate her so much it hurts

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  6. Oh, I remember that thing she wrote about the gay kiss in Corrie! Wasn’t it something like ‘I don’t want my kids seeing this sort of thing?’ When you think what those kids must have seen inside their own front door with that one!

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  7. Yeah, go back to Sweden you trout!! Get her out!!

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  8. Oh she’s absolutely vile, so painfully unfunny when she’s on those panel shows I can barely watch it. I actually want to kill her

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  9. I hate the way the old bag o’ bones plays the ‘I’m a struggling single mum’ card. Yes lady skankbag, if you spent more time with your children and less time thrusting your saggy arse / face / neck in our frightened faces maybe we’d understand.

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  10. I think she’s really lovely and misunderstood. Oh … sorry … I mean, she’s a tired old cunt bag, who has had her day.

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  11. I’m from Sweden too but I prefer another blonde to Ulrika, the girl from ABBA. Ulrika is NOT that tallented, she is a mother , ok (I rather feel sorry for her girls if they find out their mummy got kicked in public, in the face , by English gent (Stan Collymore) ‘s Armani boot .

    However , I do not understand why she might say that she is “like Madonna” . Madonna does not get punched in the face, in public, by a mixed race millionaire. Madonna is extremely tallented and somewhat shy; keeps her life a bit more private and does not talk down Italian ladies like Nancy Del Ollio. Madonna writes books too, is really hilarious , does social/charity stuff never mind she ended up a “single mother” too , similar to Ulrika.
    I prefer Madonna and the ABBA blonde to Ulrika, definitely. I was never fond of Paula Yates either , but God Forgive her , whatever she might have done wrong at least she had an excuse, apparently she was taking illegal drugs. Anneka Rice is another blonde far superior to Ulrika . Jordan is better as well!
    But you guys don’t call ulrika names, for the sake of her kids. They are innocent, it’s not their fault their rich “single mum” has lost the plot.

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  12. No need to use the “C” word or any other swear word for that matter.
    Long live Ulrika, I think she rocks!!!!!

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  13. Well I would like to give her a good hard fucking!!

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  14. she’s actually one of the nicest people i’ve met, shes a close family friend and she was extremely supportive during a really difficult time….she’s a lovely woman!

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