Happy holidays Fag Hag style!
The Fag Hag is dusting down her little Louis Vuitton valise in preparation for a sneaky little break next week when she will be whisked off to the Cote D’Azur. But oh the days of planning that go into these things…
Fake Bake – check. Eight different pairs of corky wedges – check. A Hollywood (Brazilians are just so Leeds prossie) – check. Neon pink trimmed nails a la Lohan – check. A huge Riviera hat a la Joanie in Mommie Dearest – check. Trying to locate a pair of cowboy boots that say ‘hot chick on the Cap d’Antibes’ rather than ‘failed X Factor auditionee from Belfast’ – check. Some Prada Edie-style shades – check. One Dior lipstick in scarlet, a load of moody black eyeliner and zero deodorant as a mark of respect to the intense French ladies – check. And finally a copy of Affluenza by Oliver James to make me reflect on how utterly trivial I am. Oh, fuck that! Christina! Bring me my Danielle Steel…!