The latest, hottest therapy. Only scrap the ‘hot’ thing. And insert ‘freeze your tits off’ instead. There you go.

Brrrr.....! 

So anyways, it’s all about Kriotherapy, ‘parently.

Which goes something like this:

For-to eliminate anything from being in the dumps to insomnia to dodgy skin and so on and so forth etcetera, book a session at London’s Glittering Kriotherapy Centre, where you’ll be inserted inside of a room that’s (deep breath) -105°C to -135°C…

*Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh!*

…for two to three earth minutes, and said ailments will be cured. Pinkies crossed.

Then – attired in a nice crop top ‘n’ shorts combo, you acclimatise at -60°C for twenty seconds. Also earth seconds.

Then you go into a wee compartment-whatsit for, ooh a while, and this place is at a balmy -135°C. And while you’re in here, a physiotherapist prods you with a stick to make you jump about and dance and things. We may have made up the stick bit.

And then after all of the above, you warm up on an exercise bike or on, what is known in the trade as, VibroGym equipment.

*Aaaaaaaaand, relax*

Split screen, a more radiant you.

 

The London Kriotherapy is not only on the interdolly, but it’s also at Battersea Studios, 80 Silverthorne Road, SW8. Thanks.

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One comment to “The latest, hottest therapy. Only scrap the ‘hot’ thing. And insert ‘freeze your tits off’ instead. There you go.”

  1. Sounds absolutely awful. Think I’d rather have the depression thanks

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