Just who will be that new human-person with a career we all aspire to who’ll be muttering fine pearls of wisdomia on’t show they call X Factory?
Hello lovely lady.
She’ll be paid exactly one billion earth pounds per eppie for-to sit in a line with Shazza D’Osbourne and Simon Whatsit and say things like, ‘didgeridoo’, ‘where’s the beach?’ and ‘skinny latte’.
At which junctures we’ll all applaud until our hands are worn to the bone and our voices are as weak as Emma Baby Bunting’s, and all will be well in the world.
X Factory, we salute you and the one they call Dannii-with-two-i’s-but-also-two-n’s.