Fag Hag Diary

Wednesday

Meanwhile, back in Marbella…

There's a moose loose about this hoose

Now I need to tread very carefully in my 4-inch, gold Christian Louboutins here. Last time I mentioned the subject of the Essex wives portrayed in the Marbella Belles documentary – and gently suggested that they were… what’s the word I’m searching for? Ah, yes, that’s it: common – somebody posted a rather angry message…

So just to clear things up: I don’t have anything at all against Marbella or Essex or their lovely inhabitants. All I request is that they are kept at a safe distance from the rest of the civilised world. Honestly, I’m a reasonable woman.

Last night’s show didn’t disappoint. As Lisa lit up her 20th fag of the day, she croaked in a voice that sounded not unlike Marge Simpson, ‘I’m pregnant!’ but not before pointing out in front of her offspring, ‘We got too many fucking kids!’ As her hubby with his wrinkly old Ronseal torso and Rick Parfitt hair cracked open the Cava, you thought, ‘Oh, to be that lucky old bubba!’

Meanwhile, over the Plaza de los Fakos Tanos, the woman who owns the beauty salon had a nervous breakdown when her extension got caught in the hairdryer – she looked close to tears. I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. Does that really make me such a bad person?

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5 comments to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. I’m obsessed with this show!

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  2. i bloody loved last nights episode! first one i had seen, and i just love lisa and how she has children which she dosnt give a fuck about. haha. great show :)


    http://www.wiredppl.com

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  3. I’m with you on this. I saw it for the first time last night. I felt ill. The people in it are vermin. The sort who will moan about immigration, whilst going to live in another country themselves.

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  4. Plaza de los Fakos Tanos hahahahahahaha

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  5. Exactly Consuela, and they can’t even speak the frigging language!

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