‘Kate, you dodged a bullet there, girlfriend’
So the Artist Formerly Known As Prince Wilhelmina has been dumping like a truck and we will never get to see Lorraine discussing the dress of Lady Kate on GMTV (‘Och, well I loved the wee train on it, but it was so expensive! I mean, what’s wrong wi’ Debenhams?’)
If Lady Kate has any sense she’ll be breathing a sigh of relief this morning and saying, ‘Fucking hell, dodged a bullet there, girlfriend.’
Firstly, no one wants the Queen as a nana. Secondly, nice as that big old queeny crib is, SW1 is all a bit arms dealers and oligarchs and call girls these days. And finally, if you must end up with a selfish rich bloke with a roving eye, for fuck’s sake make it Leonardo Di Caprio and not someone who wears rugby shirts and will call you ‘old bean’ while you’re performing fellatio.