In which Fag Hag learns to refer to this woman as Auntie Su…
This weekend, Fag Hag found herself playing a game with friends (no, sadly not the sort of game that requires closing the blinds and popping on Jeff Stryker’s Greatest Hits), and I can’t recommend it highly enough…
It’s called ‘Who has the least normal family?’ and involves finding three quotes uttered in your family history that best hint at how unconventional things were. Unfortunately, as soon as we started playing, it became embarrassingly obvious to all concerned that I was going to be hauling home the silverware from this particular competition. Just check out my shit.
1. Fag Hag: ‘Mummy, Nana was being horrible to me!’ Fag Hag Mum: ‘Oh, darling, that’s because she was on amphetamines.’
2. Fag Hag: ‘Mummy, can we leave Madame Jo Jo’s – I’ve got my History mock O-Level in the morning.’
And finally, the piece de resistance.
3. Fag Hag Sister: ‘Mummy, why is Uncle Johnny’s boyfriend marrying Su Pollard?’