Fag Hag Diary

Tuesday

And Fag Hag muses over that Scary Spice business.

What are the four greatest words in the English language? According to uber gay Gore Vidal, they are ‘I told you so’, and I’d certainly be struggling not to use them now if I was friends with Mel B-one-with-frizzy-hair-and-northern-voice-off-of Spice Girls.

What alternative universe was she inhabiting when she woke up one morning and said, ‘You see that spoilt, egotistical Hollywood comedian at the centre of many dubious rumours that I’ve been dating for five minutes? I think I’ll get pregnant by him. He’ll be a really loving, stable father and life partner.’ I mean, if you’re young, stupid and desperate I suppose being with someone like that might be a substitute for employment but why bother putting up with a narcissistic asshole if you’re rich, internationally famous and already have a kid?

Scary darling, men like that are great for a chapter in your memoirs but for fuck’s sake, don’t try and settle down with them.