‘Gay for pay? Anyone who’s got a million quid can give me a million quid and I’ll do ’em.’
We popped your questions inside of these famouses. Strictly speaking we popped your questions inside of the one on the left (Tyson), but we imagine the other two enjoyed it as well. These words that follow are Tyson’s real-life words. Thankings, and enjoy.
What is your favourite jam? London Lady
I hate jam. I absolutely hate it. When I was a kid I used to eat strawberry jam with butter. That’s because I was poor, you know what I mean? I had it on bread.
What is your favourite type of crunch biscuit? Flowery Bonnet
Them butter ones, what are they called? Custard Creams? Yeah, Custard Creams. And they’re cheap. I’m a cheap date. I’m a McDonalds boy.
Are any of you uncles? Pipkin
Yeah, I’m and uncle an Adonis is an uncle.
Flats or heels? Lindypops
Either/or. Depends on how I’m feeling on the day. Sometimes I wear heels when I’m performing just for amusement. I don’t actually wear heels on the street. I’m not ‘there’ yet. Sometimes I need an extra boost to make me hyperactive and then I’ll think, ‘Yeah, I’m going to wear heels.’ When we played Bootylicious I was actually going to put on a dress. I was dressing up in the changing room and I thought, ‘Come on, guys, how much are you going to pay me?’ and everyone put out their money and was like, ‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.’ Then management stepped in and said, ‘Woah! Tyson, you’re going too far, you can’t wear a dress on stage!’ I actually got told not to do it because I was going too far. You have to make them wait for something because where else am I going to go after? I might have to dress myself up as a turkey.
Do any of you wear dresses of an evening? Rotten Johnny
Oh yeah, mate, I wore one in the ‘Love Ya’ video, in the extended version. I was wearing a nice tight white slut one, like Samantha Fox used to wear.
What pants do you wear? Rich
Either/or, mate. I wear none or I wear some. I’m not really an underwear person. I’ve got a lot, though.
Are you trying to steal Outkast’s mojo? Peewee Herman
OK, I’m going to say something, right. Bobby’s basically British, obviously I’m British. England have never ever had a band like us that is so different but so mainstream. There was the whole New Romantic thing but that was a scene, I’m not talking about a scene. People like to categorize you, they like to say, ‘Because you’re weird, you’re like Outkast; because you’re weird, you’re like Parliament; because you’re weird, you’re like Gnarls Barkley’ but the fact of the matter is that Outkast is hip hop but Andre 3000 is a fucking weirdo. But being compared to Outkast is great because I love Outkast and I like the comparison, but we are not copying their music at all. No-one is wearing a blond wig. People don’t know what to say when they see us.
What would you consider a celebrity price-tag? Nadine Baggott
What? For sexual favours? Well, everyone’s got a price, innit? What’s mine? A million quid. Gay for pay? Anyone who’s got a million quid can give me a million quid and I’ll do ’em.
Do you think me me me were having a laugh when they called you famouses? Consuela
I’ve been in front of 15,000 people and when I come out in front of the stage they scream and cry and know the words to my songs, so tell Consuela to fuck herself. Tell her, yes, I am a famous and she is not so tell her to go fuck herself.
What’s in your pockets right now? Claudia
This is going to look so un-rock ‘n’ roll, but I’ve got a packet of Orbit gum and 20 Benson and Hedges. I should have some crack in there or something [laughs].
Unklejam’s lovely single, ‘What Am I Waiting For?’ is out June 4th.