Fag Hag Diary

Tuesday

‘Dates from Hell’ – Discuss

What? 

What’s the worst date you’ve ever been on? Moi? Let’s not even go there… except to say, suddenly the Lotto Rapist isn’t looking like such a bad option after all. But the great thing about terrible dates is that like schizophrenia, you’re never alone – every fucker’s had one. So if you fancy some schadenfreude, I’ve grilled the Fag Hag gal pals and here is our Dating Hall of Shame…

1) ‘He left his shoes on whilst shagging me – and then, when he got up hurriedly, I realised he’d also left a mini-cab running outside.’

2) ‘He refused to travel any further than about a mile away from his house to meet me, and then took me for a Starbucks which we drunk on a bench opposite a car park.’

3) ‘I took this hot guy home and woke up the next morning to find he’d gone, but had left me a special present – a giant urine patch.’

4) ‘I turned up for a blind date once at a mutual friend’s house and my ‘date’ turned up with a 6’2″ blonde model who he’d met the night before.’

5) ‘After having vigorous sex every which way but loose, he turned to me and said, “Don’t take this personally, but I was hoping for someone a little more hard bodied.”‘

Who can top these? As Peter Tatchell once said, ‘Come out, come out, wherever you are…!’

 

 

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5 comments to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. I had a shag who not only refused to take of his shoes, but his clothes. So ‘shag’, rather than shag, methinks.

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  2. When it comes to bad dates and losers, I win hands down:

    http://who-dear-me-dear.blogspot.com/2007/03/unsent.html

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  3. I once went back with someone who wanted me to wear a suit and shoes in bed. But I don’t consider that a date from hell, I consider it smart and sophisticated. And toasty.

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  4. I had a date with a very dull man from New Zealand who spent a large chunk of the date telling me how shit England is (despite him living here for years) and how he found the British working class pitiful and lacking in style (despite him coming from New Zealand). He also loved talking about how fantastically rich he was and how it was awkward having sex as his cock was so huge but he had sex every night all the same, with either a Gaydar date, or a rentboy. I was supposed to be added to that list, I think, but I declined. He’s still on Gaydar if you want to try him out.

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  5. From New Zealand, you say? Who knew.

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