A real-life letter of retardenation from Paris Hilton to some fellow retards her fans.
So-like-right, you knows Paris La Hilt is in t’clink for being stupid… anyways, she’s received kindly words of support, and the following is a transcript of a letter penned in response to said words of retardenation support.
‘I read your letter and just wanted to thank you for your kind words of love and support. The fact that you took time out of your day to write me truly means the world. Especially at such a difficult and scary* time in my life.
But I am being strong and trying to make the best out of a the situation. And the letters I’m receiving really do put a smile** on my face as I sit here in my cell, sad*** and alone****.
Again, thank you so much and may God***** bless you and your family.
Love always, Paris Hilton xoxo’
* Scary? You need to get out more, luv.
** Damn.
*** Oh good.
**** Ditto.
***** Rather someone else, thanks.
These lovely people told us this, innit.
What a total spaz.
Okay so… I’m not a HUGE fan of Paris but I definantly find her antics on the Simple Life to be quite amusing. Anyhow, I just wanted to say that before you go and start calling people retarded you should probably know that “retardenation” is NOT a word… so my dear, YOU are in fact the retarded one. I think you are a sad little person and just FYI…. all of your posts suck… you aren’t even funny, not in the least bit.
Stephanie, ‘dear’, I think you miss the point entirely. ‘Retardenation’ is so palpably not a real word, and they know that. That’s, like, so the point. It’s a neologism, if you will. You retard.
Time of the month, Stephanie?
Paris is retardenation incarnate, say I.
You read ALL of the posts on here, then, Stephanie? All, ooh, thousands of them. You must be a HUGE fan!
What’s for tea tonight, Mum?
I’m thinking a pea soup for starters, then Linda McCartney sausages and a sweet potato mash for mains. Then maybe a lemon drizzle cake for pudding, but only if you’re good.
Mmmmmm, lemon drizzle cake.
[...] So la Hilt’s neighbours in London’s glittering Hollywood Hills are currently petitioning the local authority in an effort to get her thrown out of their community. Because she is what is known in the business as a retard. [...]