Is thee, or is thee not, a gay?

Gay dear? 

Do you have penage? 

Having trouble deciding which back bottoms to put said penage inside of?

Don’t know whether to wear a brief-panty, or boxers from the Next catalogue?

Wake up of a morning singing show tunes with a stirring down below, before sen-su-al-ly flicking off to Andrew Castle off-of GMTV, and think to yourself, ‘Why is this?’?

[NB. For ladies, replace ‘penage’ with ‘flangelina’, ‘boxers’ with, well ‘boxers’ and ‘Andrew Castle’ with ‘Fiona Phillips’, etc. etcetera.]

If yes to any-indeed-all of the above, then you may be what is known in certain circles as gay. Yes, gay.

And some people with lots of time on their hands have devised a v clever indeed way of deciding whether or no one is indeed of gay, by means of a genetic nature. They include the following:

Which way does your hair whorl, er, whorl? Let’s look at the evidence:

From behind...

(Counter-clockwise is the gayer one, btw.)

Is your index finger longer, or shorter, than your ring finger? Let’s look at the evidence:

You're gayer than me! No, you're gayer than me! etc. 

(Longer index finger? Prob’ly of gay.)

And so on and so forth. Now obviously it’s much (much) more complicated that this, which is why we’re leaving it to these people to explain further, but we just thought you should know.

*goes to check on dog; hair whorl is counter-clockwise; explains a lot*

ps. Thankings to lovely OMG! peeps for pointing us in this direction. Mwahs plural.


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6 comments to “Is thee, or is thee not, a gay?”

  1. I always knew I was a gay! Hurrah!

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  2. My Dad’s gay! We just checked!

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  3. I seem to be bisexual – fingers are different lengths on each hand!

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  4. Apparently I’m straight! Must ring my mother, she’ll be so pleased.

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  5. I’ve seen Andrew Castle’s cock. It’s very big.

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  6. Is it really? What/when/where/how? etc.
    Details, please.

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