Or, ‘How to win friends and influence people, #792837832, by Paris Hilton’.
So la Hilt’s neighbours in London’s glittering Hollywood Hills are currently petitioning the local authority in an effort to get her thrown out of their community. Because she is what is known in the business as a retard.
Anyways, to add insult to what is already a very fun game, her next-door neighbour – Shelby Segall – has now accused the P of animal cruelty.
And the grievance goes sumfink like this:
‘She treats her animals horribly. They are always getting out and running around the neighbourhood. She had a little orange kitty [orange?!] about a year ago that kept getting out and we kept telling her it was outside. She didn’t seem like she cared, and then one day the cat got run over in the middle of the street and died. Not long after, little Tinkerbell [that rat-like ‘dog’] came to my door and I left a note on her gate. Her assistant came over frantic and tried to offer me a $40 reward [tight fuck]. I said, “Don’t insult me.” [oooOOOOoooh!] Another neighbour said, “I found two little Chihuahuas of hers running up and down the street with cars and people going up and down. I put them in my bathroom and called Paris. Her assistant answered and said, “You can’t drop them off! Miss Hilton isn’t home!” She took three hours to come and get them. She lives five houses away.’
And that’s a true story.
Now let’s look at a picture of an ‘orange’ kitty: