So you know Tones went to see Popey last week, for-to discuss things of an important nature and play dress-up… anyways, the topics up for discussion were the following:
– stem cell research
– civil partnerships
– adoption by gay couples
– war in Iraq
– whether it’s acceptable to wear a gold lame blouson AND dolly red shoes at the same time. It isn’t, btw. Repeat after us: ‘Two neutrals and a splash’!
As as expected from what is known in the business as a sanctimonious old trout, Popey disagreed on practically everything with Tones. Who knew, etc. And he had an especially hard time pun-like-totally-intended with the gay rights thing, and had what the Vatican described as a ‘frank exchange’ with TB. In that he doesn’t agree with gays having the same rights as everyone else, including dollies who wear gold lame blousons and red ballet pumps. And honey, can we talk about the jewellery? Word has it, the Baby Jesus prefers the understated look, and suggests Accessorize if you really must persist. Less brassy.
Anyways… oh yeah. Popsicle’s got the hump ’cause he’s scared of back bottom bumming…
*There Popey is, faffin’ on his fancy-pants new laptop when out of NOWHERE, three gennelmen who can only be described as homosexual pop up on his screen, in a sort of penetrative situation. ‘Nooooooo,’ screams Popey, ‘This is not a good thing. The end of the world is ever-so nigh, now. And I’ve not even had chance to do me hair, let alone put pants on. What will the Baby Jesus think of me?’ all the while stifling his screams lest one of his assistants hears, rushes to his aid, and slips on something on his shiny marble floor*
… and did sayeth to Tones and the missus that despite him being non-British, he’d like to interfere in British politics anywho – ’cause that’s how he likes to conduct business.
Ooh, and whilst they were there, he-Blair gave the P some pics of 19th Century English Cardinal Henry Newman, who is in the process of being made a saint. Which must be nice for him. She-Blair apparently said during the handing over of said giftage, ‘I believe you are very familiar with him and he is on the journey to sainthood.
To which Poppy said, ‘Yes, yes, although it is taking some time – miracles are hard to come by in Britain.’
Yes, yes, ye big lady – that’s ’cause we’re not all a bunch of retards in Britain. Though someone did spot the Tooth Fairy earlier, doing her morning rounds, turning water into wine and Primark hold-alls into Hermes Birkins, that sort of thing. Will that do ya?