The Bishop of Carlisle – the Rt. Rev. Graham Dow – reckons that them there floods that are sweeping the nation are God’s doing, ’cause He hates gays and this is His way of punishing them. ‘Cause that makes sense.
*Nan in canoe ponders why she may be being punished, when she’s never licked flangelina in her life. Oh, except that time when Arthur was away during the war and she just needed a bit of company. It was a trying time for all*
‘This is a strong and definite judgement,’ quoth he, as in Graham Dow, as it the retard, as toads the size of three-bed/two-bath Barratt homes just perfect for first-time buyers fell from the sky and the Baby Jesus plucked his eyebrows ’cause, you know, they were getting a bit long. ‘The world has been arrogant in going its own way.’
And the Rt. Rev. James Jones – the Bishop of Liverpool – agrees with Graham.
‘People no longer see natural disasters as an act of God. However, we are now reaping what we have sown. If we live in a profligate life then there are going to be consequences. God is exposing us to the truth of what we have done.’
*JJ gets on his direct line to God; they have a natter, ’cause JJ’s privy to such private moments, being special and all; JJ gets off the phone hot ‘n’ flustered; ‘Oooh,’ he goes, ‘I knew it were them gays. Grrrr.’*
And in a brief moment of sanity amidst this tale of retardenation, chairman of the Gay and Lesbian Humanist Association, Jim Herrick, did sayeth the following:
‘The Bishop’s comments reveal a primitive, superstitious mind that belongs in the Bronze Age. If he thinks these floods are the result of pro-gay laws rather than global warming, then how come far more catastrophic floods afflict homophobic nations such as Bangladesh? People like Graham Dow bring religion into even more disrepute with such fatuous comments. No wonder people are abandoning the Church of Englnad in such huge numbers when it is led by silly people like him.’
Yeah, ye big knob!
Ooh, who said knob?!