You see this snaggle-toothed trout?

God Hates Shirley

She’s that crazy-as-a-bedbug religious nut Shirley Phelps-Roper (nothing to do with George and Mildred) who pickets American soldiers’ funerals because God Hates Fags (no, we don’t quite see the connection either). And now she’s been arrested and faces three months in the slammer…

Her crime? She allowed a child to stamp on the American flag, which, in the land of the free, is apparently a big no-no. You can disrupt funerals and go around preaching hatred but keep your sandals clear of that multi-coloured fabric, YOU HEAR!?

She and other adults apparently stood by, averting their own tootsies from the red, white and blue, while encouraging children to trample it underfoot as a protest about God Hating Fags or something at another serviceman’s funeral. This, apparently, is considered child abuse.

The picketing of soldiers’ funerals – as showcased in documentaries from Louis Theroux and Keith Allen – is apparently to underline that God is killing American soldiers in Iraq because of America’s permissive attitude towards the gays. Quite why He’s killling about a five hundred Iraqis for every American soldier when the Iraqi attitude towards the gays dovetails nicely with Shirley’s has so far remained unexplored.

‘I have not failed to do my duty to my children, to my God or to my fellow countrymen, and I take my job dead serious,’ said Shirl, cavalier as ever with her grammar. She is now calling on civil liberties groups to help her fight her case. We put it to you, milord, that she’s a nasty piece of work who needs some time in the cooler. Oh, and we put it to you that her dad, the Reverend Phelps, the sleaze behind the Wesboro Baptist Church, is a twisted gay who never got to taste some lovely cock. Why else would he be so randomly obsessed with ‘fags’?

And we rest our (rather expensive Louis Vuitton) case.


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2 comments to “You see this snaggle-toothed trout?”

  1. Lock her away and throw away the key. She does abuse those children. Did you see on Louis Theroux when she was making them hold placards they didn’t even understand while people drove past throwing bottles at them! Silly cow. Get a job!

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  2. Hear hear hear hear, etc!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Sickening trouts, the lot of ’em.

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