It’s FH’s B’day, everyone! Only Fagster’s in no mood to celebrate. (Boo.)
Cue the Altered Images music please, because today the Fag Hag turns… oh please, don’t you know there are two things a lady never reveals – one is her age and the other is the fact that she once slept with someone from Newcastle. Yes, today is my birthday… will I be out partying with La Harsh or sipping cocktails on Roberto Cavalli’s yacht before going ashore to pick up a few young French boys? Sadly not, because the poor old Fag Hag is celebrating her birthday in bed, not with a firm-thighed hottie, but with horrendous flu.
I know it’s flu rather than a measly cold because I couldn’t even muster the energy to change the channel when Jeremy Kyle came on.
Fag Hag Family are popping round later to drop off some birthday trinkets but most importantly I get an excuse to watch Angela Rippon prancing around in a powder blue trouser suit on Cash in the Attic and Des O’Conner (the dad who’s so old he genuinely got a hernia from picking up his child) on Countdown – what could be nicer birthday treat than that? Sniffly love to y’all from the birthday girl.