Kerry Katona and person she’s currently shagging held hostage at knifepoint!

:-(

Not so chirpy now, are you, luv?

So Kerry, husband-ette and sprogs were held at knifepoint while BAD people who mistook her for someone who would actually have nice things ransacked her home in London’s not-so-glittering-since-the-Katona’s-moved-in Wilmslow, Cheshire, The North. 

Three armed robbers, all wearing balaclavas, took an estimated £200,000-worth of produce.

The swag is thought to contain the following ‘goods’:

– fake gold earrings big enough to swim in

– foam wedges

– a packet of Quavers

– 17 velour tracksuits

– man-made blousons sort of stretched around the midriff 

– deep fat-fried goods with an appealing orange patina

– A flat-screen telly switched to Cash in the Attic

– A half-used pack of Nice ‘n’ Easy Root Touch-up

– Some midget-gems

 

More on this tale of woe? Oh okay then.

 

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More dolly #content:

3 comments to “Kerry Katona and person she’s currently shagging held hostage at knifepoint!”

  1. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.

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  2. Aw, poor Kerry :0)

    sorry

    :0(

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  3. As long as they didn’t touch the Lladro

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