So Kerry, husband-ette and sprogs were held at knifepoint while BAD people who mistook her for someone who would actually have nice things ransacked her home in London’s not-so-glittering-since-the-Katona’s-moved-in Wilmslow, Cheshire, The North.
Three armed robbers, all wearing balaclavas, took an estimated £200,000-worth of produce.
The swag is thought to contain the following ‘goods’:
– fake gold earrings big enough to swim in
– foam wedges
– a packet of Quavers
– 17 velour tracksuits
– man-made blousons sort of stretched around the midriff
– deep fat-fried goods with an appealing orange patina
– A flat-screen telly switched to Cash in the Attic
– A half-used pack of Nice ‘n’ Easy Root Touch-up
– Some midget-gems
More on this tale of woe? Oh okay then.