‘Mika is a twat’ says the bitter man with three dead birds round his neck

Such a hot look!

So, it turns out that this person here (a singer, by the way) went to see Mika at Somerset House and went back to his tiny bedsit (we’re imagining) to write on his probably pored-over blog, ‘Mika is a twat’. The next morning, he got up, sniffed some socks that were lying on a half-eaten plate of spaghetti hoops, put them on, sat down and wrote this ‘translation’…

‘And what I meant was, please let’s put an end to over-marketed, expensive, heartless (the punctuation, by the way, comes courtesy of me-me-me: Patrick can’t afford any) tacky rubbish, autotune, airbrush… Should I market myself to look OUTRAGEOUS and kooky or would it be easier if I sold records by playing safe and serene and for all the family…?’ This goes on bringing in everything from Schubert and syphillis to jazz hands and Cliff Richard, but we are assured has nothing to do with gender or sexuality. Read the full-length rant here.

Is someone maybe feeling a little eclipsed?

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More dolly #content:

18 comments to “‘Mika is a twat’ says the bitter man with three dead birds round his neck”

  1. In other words, why can’t Mika be more like me? Why does everyone have to be the same. He should make us choose like this because we’re obviously going to choose our lovely Mika.

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  2. What a strange little concoction this person is!

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  3. Why can’t Mika wear outfits like this instead of the runner bean business he normally sports?

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  4. Oh DO shut-it, Little Mr WhinyPants! Is it that you can hear yourself becoming a Musical Footnote? “Once opened for Pop-sensation Mika, died in a pool of his own ennui..”
    If you open your mouth again, I’ll take you across my knee and make you watch JLo videos until you truly understand the meaning of “over-marketed, expensive, heartless”.

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  5. Just how much money is Mika’s record company paying Warwick for all this positive press?

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  6. Not nearly enough.

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  7. Mika is a twat. Its plain to see. Patrick Wolf has more talent in his little finger than Mika, anyone who owns his last three albums will tell you exactly the same

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  8. I’d rather get cat AIDs than choose Mika over Patrick Wolf.

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  9. Craig and Margot have got it right. If anyone has even heard of Patrick Wolf, they’ll know who is more worth it. (It’s Patrick, in case you’re wondering.)

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  10. Perhaps Patrick was mistaken, you are the twat.

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  11. So you moan about him calling Mika a twat then call him bitter? What is wrong with people these days?
    Yea well Patrick could probably gargle mouthwash and make it sound better than Mika’s stuff. Mika=catchy Patrick=stunning. No competition really.

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  12. Are you joking me, Patrick is entitled to pour out his heart, frusteration, and true feelings. Anyway, he is absolutely and altogether correct about everything. Whoever perfers the “music” that Mika produces isn’t worth trying to convince. Patrick is a definite gift not only to the music industry but also to the world, and Mika is nothing more than as Patrick so eloquently stated a “twat”. xx

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  13. Are you joking me, Patrick is entitled to pour out his heart, frusteration, and true feelings. Anyway, he is absolutely and altogether correct about everything. Whoever perfers the “music” that Mika produces isn’t worth trying to convince. Patrick is a definite gift not only to the music industry but also to the world, and Mika is nothing more than as Patrick so eloquently stated a “twat”. xxxx

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  14. Uhm excuse me
    Patrick Wolf is on his third album, mika is still on his incredibly average and annoying album (if you could call it that, there not songs so much as jingles) and a lot of people have heard of patrick wolf.
    Mika is heartless music engineered to sell records, he wont even talk about his sexuality for fear of risking his sale figures.
    By the way, he has remixed Mika song (by remixed i mean made bearable), he was supporting Mika not going to see him, and it wasn’t a blog it was a myspace bulletin, so at least get your facts right before you write you’re probably pored-over blogs sweetheart.

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  15. I think Matthew nailed it.
    If your going to try and write a blog,at least get your facts right.
    Saves you from embarrassing yourself then,dosn’t it?
    Go and read Smash Hits.

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  16. Patrick supported Mika at that gig, he didn’t just go. Get your facts straight. Mika IS a twat, stop denying it

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  17. It sounds to me Patrick is just bitter because he had to open the concert for Mika

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  18. Please, leave him alone… away with the handbags people, I do love Mika but he is clearly becoming other commercialised; his new album is terrible. Patrick has done really well to get where he has, and certainly doesn’t get enough acclaim for how amazing he is.
    I think if Patrick was supporting him, maybe things were said, maybe he found Mika condenscending… I guess, you would have to look at the bigger picture before you attempted to draw conclusions from it. xx

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