So anyways, Kerry off-of Iceland ads has lost her offspring.
As one does.
Only she wouldn’t say ‘one’, as she is what is known in the business as ‘pikey’.
‘Parently, the fat one off-of Westlife who went and grew his hair and everyone thought might be attractive for like five seconds, and who is also the father of two of the Katona progeny, has disappeared with said progeny and cannot be contacted.
According to the Daily Star, Bryan/Brian/Whatever McFadden wants custody of Molly, five and Lilly-Sue, four (whatever for?!) and is proving uncontactable.
‘She is beside herself with worry,’ said ‘Source’. ‘Not speaking to the girls has really set her back. She has not been able to contact the girls for nearly a week and it’s doing her head in.’
‘Doing her head in’?
Max Clifford, KK’s publicist, said, ‘She has left messages everywhere and is getting a bit concerned. She is used to speaking to her girls on a daily basis, so this is very difficult for her. Any mother apart from her children would feel the same.’
There now follows an artist’s impression of what these missing children may look like, were you to stumble across them and feel inclined to let Kerry know. She’s frantic, she is. Frantic.