Fag Hag Diary


The Brangelina debacle? If only they’d listened to the Fagster.

If only Brad had listened to me...

According to lots of newspapers with red bits around the top and magazines with exclamation marks after the title, Brangelina is in peril!

Yep, that’s right, the magic on this divine union has apparently already disappeared faster than a knockdown copy of Harry Potter in Asda (doubtless rung up on the till by a lady with gold earrings who says ‘fank you’ intead of ‘thank you’).

If it’s true, which it must be if the people in the magazines say ’tis – then I’m sure Lady Jennifer must be thinking this morning, couldn’t you have just given the bitch a few right old seeings to on the sly and saved on the dramas?

You see what straight men fail to realise, is that unless you’re going out with a drunk or someone with narcissistic personality disorder (or both – I tried that once) after a while, ALL relationships more or less become the same.

Everyone can find something that will irritate the fuck out of you if you’re exposed to it for long enough and even Angelina’s fabulous arse becomes mundane when it’s exposed to you on a daily basis.

Gay men of course seem to grasp this logic slightly better which is why they don’t abandon their life partner every time they fancy a quick go on a new hot piece of arse.

God invented love, but why do you think he also invented Hampstead Heath, fellas…?

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