Fag Hag Diary


And Faggy interprets the ‘Billie goes blind’ story…

Blind my arse. 

‘I’m blinded, I’m blinded!’ said Bingo from Banana Splits rushing out of London’s glittering Ivy where slebs like Bobby Davro go so they don’t have to share eating space with degenerate muggles. Yup, Billie Piper of the stocky legs and Lionel Ritchie mouth was rushed to hospital after waking up to discover she couldn’t open her eyes properly. (Doesn’t that happen to ‘partying’ actors who keep theatre hours most days of the week?)

‘She’d been having her photographs taken by Rankin and it may have been down to his ring-flash’ said someone who’s never met anyone who had anything remotely to do with anyone. Well please.

The Fag Hag herself has been on the receiving end of a ring-flash or two when doing bits of journalism, as they were quite the thing in the 90’s. Yep, they are a bit bright and can make your eyes feel a little bit funny for 24 hours. A normal person responds to this by saying, ‘Oh, my eyes feel a bit funny – must be a temporary thing due to that powerful flash’. But Billie Piper?

She gets rushed to a specialist eye hospital (never mind all those silly old eye cancer people waiting for attention) and gets a spokesman to issue a grave press release about the state of their health. It’s honestly like Joan Crawford has been reincarnated in laddered tights…

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One comment to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. Hilarious!

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