Fag Hag Diary


Fancy winning the lottery? So long as you’re prepared for vilification of the FH variety…

Er, drink?

Today the Fag Hag is feeling a little bit sicky in the mouth hearing about that postal worker woman winning 35 million English pound coins on the lottery thingy that common people do. I mean, what the fuck is someone like that, from Scottish land going to spend that kind of money on? A lifetime supply of Brains Faggots? A crate of Irn Bru? Some fish pie from Morrisons? 100 Embassy Regals?

I don’t begrudge people like that a little windfall now and again but £35 million? There really should be a basic taste test carried out before this kind of cash is handed out randomly to distinguish the vaguely civilised from the inescapably feral.

Questions like Do you say H or ‘Haitch’? Do you eat carbs in front of Britain’s Got Talent? Has Roy Chubby Brown ever made you laugh? And finally, Do you a) have an outside toilet b) have to use the pub toilet c) simply cock your leg against the kitchen table of an evening…

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One comment to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. So what would you have spent it on Faggy? Champers and marabou slippers? Not that I’m disapproving.

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