Jack Nicholson’s got funny saliva glands.
In that they don’t produce saliva.
Thus-therefore-because of this, he has to drink loads of water in order to swallow food.
‘Jack’s saliva glands stopped working, so he hes to continually drink water to swallow anything,’ a stunned pal told an even more stunned New York Daily News.
*gets a dry, tickly feeling inside of mouth; reaches for glass of water; finds bottle of vodka instead; does the trick nicely, thanks*