Kerry Katona – surely one of our most talented starlets – is forking out 115,000 English pounds on a new car.
‘Twill be a Lamborghini Gallardo (us either), and is a wee treat to her very self to help the same self get over all that drugs business and stress and the custody battle with the lumpen one off-of Westlife and the fact that she’s a trout.
‘It’s an incredible machine,’ she told ‘friends’.
*makes phone call to resident motor expert, who’s not actually on the premises*
Resident motor expert says the following: ‘It’s the smallest Lamborghini, considered to be cooler that a Ferrari ’cause it’s not as common. Put it this way, Lamborghini used to be considered a cooler brand than Ferrari despite Rod Stewart being a customer, however now we hear Kerry Katona’s getting one… *resident motor experts sighs* Shame – it’s a very pretty car and less footballery that most other supercars, and a Lamborghini was in the opening sequence of the original Italian Job. You sure Kerry Katona’s getting one? *resident motor expert sighs some more*’
There now follows an artist’s impression of what Kerry Katona’s car ought to look like: