Televisual lowlight of all time (said in a singy-songy Harry Hill-esque manner)…

Dirty Vernon Kay

Vernon ‘I’m from Bolton, I am’ Kay is poised to sign a £2million deal with ITV1 to host his own afternoon chat show.

*puts gun to head; pulls trigger; has to get someone else to finish of this tale of woe*

The new show is set to air at 5 of the pm on weekdays, and will rival Paul O’Grady’s show on t’other side. The fourth one.

Vernon himself came up with the idea, ‘parently. Bet he fucking did. It’s expected to be a revolutionary mix of chat, comedy, music and desperation.

Dirty Vernon Kay already murders presents Family Fortunes and Gameshow Marathon.

Professional Northerner Vernon ‘Isn’t that right, ladies and gentlemen!’ Kay and his dirty Northern hair are, apparently, Northern. But don’t let that blur your judgement. He really is shit.

If you enjoy Vernon Kay, you may also enjoy the following presenters:

– Kate Thornton
– Ant ‘n’ Dec
– Cat Deeley
– Tess Daly
– Patrick Kielty
– Jenny Falconer
– Ben Shepherd
– Michael Underwood
– Any of the GMTV ‘Entertainment’ lot in fact
– Myleene Klass
– and c) and d)

 

 

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10 comments to “Televisual lowlight of all time (said in a singy-songy Harry Hill-esque manner)…”

  1. God I hate Vernon Kay. He gives northerners a bad name. And he really is amongst the most insipid ‘presenters’ on TV. What is wrong with telly programmers these days? Scared of a bit of chutzpah?

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  2. I like Vernon- (Northern) Bastard
    northerners give northerners a bad name

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  3. Lord save us.

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  4. My vision is now impaired thanks to those mighty choppers. What are they made of? Elephant Tusks?

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  5. Who is this person and why haven’t I been informed about him? He looks rather irritating.

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  6. I think Vermin will be able to turn around all that problems with itv malarkey. I wish he hosted every show

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  7. I like Vernon.

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  8. Oh for fuck’s sake. Does everyone get a chat show now then? Charlotte Church, Antony Cotton, Vernon Kaye. And what is it with this regional thing: Parkie was bad enough being from Yorkshire without all these ‘accents’ polluting our screens. Bring back Joanna Lumley standing in for Wogan on a permanent basis.

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  9. Yeah!!

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  10. Eeurgh … what is it with him? Can you believe Radio 1 signed him over Russell Brand .. the fucking knobs.

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