In which the FH decides not to go audio-visual.
One of the Fag Hag’s best friends, a fabulous boy I nickname Jonty (although all that’s going to have to change in the light of that mentally unwell one off BB), has been excitedly telling me to download something called Sight Speed.
‘Once you download it, we can see each other while chatting!’ he messaged me enthusiastically. Honey, I hate to break up such a swell party, but I have some breaking news for you – that ain’t ever happening…
You see, I don’t know about you, but when I have chats with friends I tend to multi-task. Activities I have been known to indulge in while a friend has been down the other end of a phone line include weeing, plucking down below, taking drugs, watching Big Brother, disposing of a dead mouse and fellating someone.
Call me conservative but the last thing on Satan’s earth I want is a witness while I indulge in any of the above. I’m not doing no peep shows for no one. Or not until they’ve negotiated a mutually acceptable rate beforehand.