Where FH offers some very sound advice indeed to Owen Wilson
Poor Owen Wilson. The Butterscotch Stallion (as industry types like to call him) has done something rather sad and we hope he’s okay. The rumours are that he was left devastated by Kate Hudson pictured ‘cavorting’ with new man Dax Shephard. Well I am here to make Owen feel better. Stallion, here are five good reasons why you need to get back in the saddle:
1) There is nothing nicer than seeing pics of your ex looking like a shit milkshake – and in those pics she’s wearing a bypass protestor hat and has greasy roots. It don’t get much better than that.
2) Correction, there is in fact something better than that – realising that your replacement, like Dax, is so far beneath you in status they’re actually in another food chain.
3) Who the fuck has a name like Dax anyway? Sounds like someone out of Red Dwarf.
4) Kate Hudson ain’t exactly Kate Moss. She just looks like every other girl who you rent a car off at LAX airport. Don’t sweat the small stuff – or the stuff with no top lip.
5) I saw you once in a restaurant in New York and you vaguely checked me out. Once you’re feeling slightly better would you like to have sex?