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Would you like to look like this?

The hair? No, it's my natural colour

No, of course you wouldn’t. Who in their right mind would?

For those not in their right mind, the hour is near when you will be able to buy schmutter dreamed up by this person, who goes by the name of Andre 3000.

For it is he, ladies and gennelman, who is currently working on a range of clobber that will be based on ‘vintage classics with modern twists.’ We’ll be the judge of that.

From the house of Outkast there will be a line of denim (ooh, mold-breaking!) made from Japanese selvage (we don’t know what that is but it’s forcing us to want it).

Not sure when it’s coming out but should you see people all of a sudden walking around looking like numpties, then that’ll be a clue… (more…)

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Some lovely, erm, chairs (it’s an Ab Fab quote!)

Mmm, comfy

Do you have a patio or comparable outdoor space?

Do you find it difficult to source (like that word?) furniture that doesn’t look like you nicked it from outside the pub in Shameless?

Do you like stuff that looks a bit spidery and weird?

Well, a new shop has opened in the very centre of London’s glittering West End (near Centrepoint, that’s how ‘centre’ it is) and it sells not only the dayglo patio furniture aforementioned but also sofas that go round corners.

Lookee here… (more…)

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‘Ooh, Lord, has it gone 4 o’clock already and we’ve still not had a sing-song?’

We think they were South African...

Today we will mostly be sing-songing along to a 70s classic you prolly don’t even know. It’s called ‘Substitute’, it’s by all-girl band (they even play the guitars and everything: girls are so clever!) called Clout and it’s reminiscent of early ABBA. Highly recommended for your aural pleasures. After the jump… (more…)

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Who wants to see this gripping sneak preview of the Kylie snore-umentary?

Is it a person or a shop dummy?

Oh, are you in for a treat when Kylie’s documentary White Diamonds comes out. Well, if this clip is anything to go by.

In it you will see her a). standing around in clothes b). saying ‘People ask me why I want to do it and I just do’ (not on our behalf, love) and c). getting carried by some bloke (don’t know why: maybe she’s too small to actually walk in a human-size environment)…

And remember, this is the trailer, so it’s supposed to be a mouth-watering montage to whet your appetite.

But don’t take our word for it, have a look after the jump… (more…)

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Now let’s watch the real life ad for Mariah’s new smelly!

What's that smell?

As expected, a load of flouncy nonsense. J’adoring Mari Scary, though, naturally. Moving pictures AND EVERYTHING after the jumpsicle… (more…)

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Which former member of Blue called Simon Webbe has a twatty beard like this dot-dot-dot?


The full horror after la jump… (more…)

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Mutley wants to set up her own record label exclamation mark

Honey, tits!

Mutya no-longer-off-of Sugababes wants to set up her own record label. S’true.

So much so, pop-pickers, that she’s holding back on new releases until she’s done so. Maybe.

Here’s the quote: (more…)

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Kum Quat?

Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?

‘He’s fit. I would fuck him!’
Lily Allen on her wish to bop/be bopped in the booboo by, the lead singer of The Revenue (us either) – as quipped in front of thousands tens whilst judging new telly doo-da Talent Show Unsigned. She didn’t realise the mic was still on. Dirty bitch.

At this juncture we’d like to show you a picture of said fuckable gennelman, but we can’t find one. Prolly ’cause they’re an unsigned/unfamous band. Hence being on a show called Talent Show Unsigned.

Instead, let’s look at a picture of a random famous in a state of undress. Fun… (more…)

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