Fag Hag Diary


And FH has a brand new play-thing…

Tickling the ivories, much?

The Fag Hag can’t stop today so like my Aunty Lynsey de Paul it’s going to be short and sweet…

What activity, I hear you cry, am I so knee-deep in that I can’t give you my full attention? Sadly it doesn’t involve a 6 foot black man with a 9 inch cock but instead the inner workings of a piano and an assembly instruction book written helpfully in Spanish.

That’s right, darlings, I have embraced my inner Liberace and bought an upright digital piano (the digital bit is because of a little thing called volume control – I kept envisaging the looks on my poor neighbours’ faces as a baby grand got winched into my window and an Eastern European man in overalls yelled, ‘Upski a bit’ and I yelled, ‘Most of all I love playing loud death metal at night.’)

Anyway, it’s here, it’s queer get used to it – and I can’t wait to start cranking out some tunes. I already have some sheet music (your standard staples like ‘I Am What I Am’ and Charlene’s ‘I’ve Never Been to Me’) but the old man in Chappells Music seemed slightly baffled by my request for Supermodel (You Better Work), muttering on about Moonlight Sonata – grandad do I look like a Mike Oldfield fan?

Anyway, expect to see me next Mardi Gras – on a float, tinkling away to ‘Let’s Go Fly A Kite’…

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One comment to “Fag Hag Diary”

  1. I have a 6′ 2″ Scottish man with a 10 inch cock if you want to share. Although he’s ‘mautre’, he’s a proper full-on silver fox.

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