Nicole Kidman? Fag Hag doesn’t think so.
The Fag Hag has never really got the point of Nicole Kidman. Okay so she’s tall and has lots of hair but then so does Gandalf and no one gets him to pose with perfume in the expectation that we’ll rush out and buy it. Why would I want to smell like a frosty ginger with a nightclub pallor anyway?
This month old fire down below is posing on Vanity Fair with her la las out and also wearing a swimsuit that looks positively gynaecological – oh dear. Put it away love – 45’s knocking loudly demanding to be let in and no one wants to see your money shot. And I say that as someone who has turned 30 more times than I care to remember.
What’s even more unseemly though is the fact that the woman who spends her life wailing about press attention has decided to share details of her miscarriage with anybody who feels like parting with a few dollars for the cover price, as well as updates on her baby making plans, revealing, ‘Keith has been getting there slowly.’ (Are we to to understand from this that he’s coming round to the idea or that he is literally getting there slowly and working through an erectile dysfunction?)
Get back to the outback and take your Aussie bush with you…