Be the first to doze through Kylie’s new snore-amentary, named after the homeless’s cider of choice!

What do you mean, 'It's a bit like In Bed with Madonna but without the funny bits?'

It’s called White Diamond, which could either be a reference to Elizabeth Taylor’s cheap scent (‘Not so fast!’) or a slick inversion of Diamond White, the cider that comes in two-litre plastic bottles, and it’s a documentary very much in the style of In Bed with (guess who?) Madonna.

And if you want to be one of the first to sleep through it (take a magazine and a mini torch), you need to go here and buy yourself tickets for the exclusive 16th October screening.

Our favourite scenes are going to be…

The bit where her over-weight make-up girl gets buggered on a date and Kylie can’t keep the smile off her face.

The bit where she fellates an Evian bottle.

The bit where she tries to get off with Antonio Banderas.

The bit where the Pope tries to shut down her show (but she ain’t going to change her show, Freddie!)

The bit where some loser from her past gets in touch and she’s really vile to her.

The bit where she gets her dad on stage to sing ‘Holiday’ to him.

But our VERY favourite bits are going to be when she’s just hanging out in a hotel like this…

 

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More dolly #content:

6 comments to “Be the first to doze through Kylie’s new snore-amentary, named after the homeless’s cider of choice!”

  1. Hahahahahaha!
    Oh Kylie, please go to bed now, will you dear….

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  2. Oh, it might be quite funny. I can’t imagine there’ll be a whole lot of charisma rattling around backstage.

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  3. What if we can’t see her on the big screen?

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  4. Does she have to have someone move her mouth for her when she talks, because of all the botox?

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  5. Yeah, they just attach another puppet string to it…

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  6. Diamond White’s me favourite tipple, so fuck off.

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