Repugnant, unoriginal and physically creepy TV presenters Ant and Dec (Ant’s the one who thinks he’s Eric Morecombe, Dec’s the one who aspires to be Ernie Wise) have tried to oil their way out of any responsibility for thieving money off their audiences (though, frankly, if your idea of a Saturday night is watching that, you get what you deserve).
In a statement following the news that they had NOT-KNOWINGLY thieved, swindled, hoodwinked, conned (pick your own personal favourite) cash out of their viewers (as Executive Producers SURELY they would have been at meetings where it was decided where that freaking money pig thing got shipped, so they would have known that no matter how many golden coins people spent on calls, the pig was going to Northern Ireland and that was an end of it?), this is what they had to say…
‘We’d no idea of these problems,’ quoth the gruesome twosome. Problems? Is that what nicking money is called these days? Are they suggesting, perchance, that they are kleptomaniacs and had no control over their actions?
‘We are disappointed irregularities occurred.’ Irregularities? And ‘disappointed’?
Whatever happened to: ‘Hands up, we’ve been caught with our fingers in the till and we accept full responsibility and are ashamed that this has come to light’?
Send them down, m’lord. For crimes against talent, at the very least.