Karen Krizanovich: An American Bitch in London

Inside London, so you don't have to be.

So, I was going to go back to LA for my holidays, but you know, now, with the fires and all, I might go someplace similar but cheaper. Like Greece.

And because I secrety adore clunky, myopic American radio reports, I drive my ‘British shums’ (as said by Jean-Paul Gaultier on Eurotrash) insane by playing the extremely ‘Mirkin’ National Public Radio online and insist everyone listen to it with me. There’s nothing quite like a full-on American accent: my cousin Laura’s voice can cut through steel. I’ve SEEN IT… People have taken UP smoking just to escape…

Never mind. It is important for my British friends to hear about the wildfires in California and how all the people who spoke to NPR are dealing with the catastrophe.

It’s harrowing stuff. One lady could only save TWO of her stallions. Another had run out of gas: she was behind the last car to get fuel at her local garage, and so she had to USE HER OTHER CAR! Still another was saying that she lost quite a few of her pictures…

Now, I have not been involved in a fire, thank God, (although I’m very keen to find out about the burning car with two bodies in it found on the A47 this morning up in Leicestershire), but I know for sure that folks in Iraq who are being burned out do not go around worrying about their pictures and animals. They’re concerned for their LIVES.

I know it is terrible. I too have lost pets and it is traumatic but listening to these radio reports, it all sounds so frivolous. It is as if all of California is saying, ‘I lost my gloves!’ I know folks are suffering, I really do… but there’s one guy going through the firetorn areas of San Diego who says he is helping the thousands of displaced people by doing card tricks. Now come on!

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2 comments to “Karen Krizanovich: An American Bitch in London”

  1. I personally am beside myself in case Mel Gibson’s house gets burned down. If he’s in it at the time, however, I’ll feel much better.

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  2. I like the way Arnie pronounces California ‘Gallyfawnya’.

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