The mere thought is, naturally, enough to make you slice your head off therefore rendering you unlikely to ever be able to marry anyone, ever, but seeing as someone brought up the topic, this is what the National Enquirer – that magazine just full o’ fun, frolics and true facts – reckons Tom ‘Thumb’ Cruise paid Katie Holmes to get her to marry him:
Seeing as that’s the figure he prolly pays his hairdresser in order to maintain the hair of a six-year-old child with inclinations towards the creative arts, it’s a mere drop in the ocean. Most people, obviously, would demand the GDP of an oil-rich nation just to be within striking distance of that nauseating grin and nose combo’.
*throws up in mouth; swallows, just to be polite; throws up again*
Anyways, we thought you should know this.
Oh look, the magazine its verily self…