From deep withinside The Comedy Awards
Just when you think it would be FUN to be a famous, I am here to tell you that sometimes you can have more fun at home – or at grandma’s. For instance, the The Comedy Awards should be the funniest show ever in the world… well, here’s what you missed.
The awarders: JK Rowling making a long speech about how great Stephen Fry is. Stephen Fry making a long long speech from a quay in America looking like a tourist who’d lost his group.
The winners: Simon Amstell from Never Mind the Buzzcocks winning an award and yelling, ‘Best of all we beat The Friday Night Project.’ Alan Carr, from The Friday Night Project, was heard to say, ‘I don’t need that sort of shit,’ to a friend.
The host: Jonathan Ross’s speech aimed for predictable targets – Chris Langham, the Portuguese police, TV corruption – to the point where a busboy could have done better and funnier. Example: Ross to Keith Allen: ‘Were you as surprised as everyone else when Robin Hood got a second series?’ Allen: ‘No, it’s the BBC, the same people who gave you 17 million pounds.’ Boom boom.
The coverage: The show wasn’t televised so people couldn’t be bothered to act up for the cameras.
The beauties: Gillian Anderson with lovely English accent, and Faye Dunaway who claimed to want to meet Ant and Dec. This seemed scripted somehow.
The nosh: Rolls, crisps and sweets. Afterwards, burgers. Barstaff were two girls who had been forced to dress as elderly leopards.
The glamour: Cab chaos at 2am and Waterloo littered with drunk people in party clothes with feeble goodie bags that no homeless could be bothered to pilfer.
Conclusion: I am sure the Insurance Awards kick ass in the entertainment department…Exhibit A: Al Murray winning, er, something…