The Pope and his fellow ladies have condemned The Golden Compass

Please say t'isn't so, Momma!

So guess what! The Vatican no likey The Golden Compass.

*passes out owing to shock*

According to Ben 16 and his dollies, that nice story about dust and big cuddly bears and a rather bling compass promotes a COLD and HOPELESS world without God. Looked rather nice to us, actually. Especially if you get one o’ them cute animals for company the whole time.

Part of their retarded rant includes the following line, which we enjoyed immensely, considering its irony and stuff:

‘In Pullman’s world, hope simply does not exist, because there is no salvation but only personal, individualistic capacity to control the situation and dominate events.’

Control the situation and dominate events? Where’s Henry VIII when you need him!

Of course, the day we listen to Ben 16 ‘n’ bum-chums is the day Hell freezes over and God pops down for a good bum and besides, if we’re going to listen to anyone it’ll be Santa and his elves ’cause at least they’re kind and good and cute and don’t tell us what to do the whole time. Actually, if dirty Popey is allowed a public platform every time he gets the hump, so should the following seeing as they have just as much credence:

– The tooth fairy

– Batman

– The Ewoks. So cute!

– Pinocchio

– Barney the Dinosaur

– Tinkerbell

– Diana Ross is Mahogany

– Etc. 

ps. Why on earth does Franco Zeffirelli – a big old gay – want to advise The Pope in the ways of PR and appearing less like a cunt? (Emphasis on ‘appearing’, btw. This lady ain’t for turning.) They’d so put newspaper down before they let him in…

pps. Anyways, how the fuck could they condemn the presence of this fine gennelman in a moving picture…?

Our Daniel.


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4 comments to “The Pope and his fellow ladies have condemned The Golden Compass”

  1. Your HIghness met Eggs Benedict back when he was a younger Nazi. Ask my Grandaughter Betty, he ain’t a whole lot of fun. I am here to tell you that after he was elected Pope, he rummaged through all the Vatican closets (and they have MANY-never throw anything away), which is where he found the funny little Santa Claus hat last year and the Prada booties. His “Secretary” has been scrambling Eggs for 20 years. There are no secrets here in Heaven, especially from the House of Teck=we know our Nazi’s.

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  2. It would be funny if so many retardanoids didn’t take notice of everything the evil old Gremlin came out with. Listen, if they don’t like the movie, don’t go. I don’t like church, so I don’t go. It’s really easy not to go.

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  3. Couldn’t have put it better meself. The world’s retardenoids have a lot to answer for. Let’s get rid of ’em! Or at least tax them heavily.

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  4. Be fair, I think a lot of cinema goers have condemned it, too.

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