The Kylie snor-umentary White Diamonds – no, not the Liz Taylor fragrance, mind you… – to a spellbound nation.
Gone with the Wind, quite a popular film apparently, was – it was announced – to become a West End Musical. Hooray, etc.!
That lovely LeAnn Rimes country singer person answered all your questions. Wasn’t that nice of her?
Kerry Katona off-of Iceland discovered the miscarriage she thought she’d had was something crispy and deep-fried-looking she’d found in her pants. And she was pregnant. But she’s such a liar anyway.
Darren Hayes, a particular favourite of ours, sang a Madonna song. And not for the first time if we know our Daz.
Madeleine McCann was spotted in some poor peasant woman’s basket in north Africa somewhere (’cause those peasant women have money to burn on buying white children). What do you mean it
turned out not to be her?
The Spicer known as Mel B decided she had all the time in the world, what with a global tour on the cards and everything, to join the American Strictly Cometh Dancing, Dancing with the Stars. And didn’t she do well?
That funny lady who can’t wear a tie from Iran went to New York to announce that they don’t have gays in their country. Funny! Who are all those gays you’re executing then?
Kylie ‘fever’ broke out in the run-up to her new long-playing album, X (’cause it’s her tenth and ten is X in Roman numerals and it’s also a kiss… ooh, the layers of meaning!).
Those legendarily fine dressers Take That were announced as the new M&S models. Sound about right, actually.
The actually quite fit UK version of Justin T, known as Shayne Ward, answered all the saucy questions you lot put to him.
Celine Dion came back with good tunes, some seriously scary hair and a pose reminiscent of Mariah Carey.
Britney Spears showed she still had it at the MTV awards show thing in Las Vegas. Oh, we were talking about her gunt.
Deborah Harry took time out of a packed schedule to kick back with me-me-me. Nice lady. Lovely skin.