In October it was all about…

'Babes in toyland

Them lovely Sugababes gave me-me-me and exclusive sit-down-and-chat moment. Loving them.

Someone thought they saw the elusive Banksy. Could just be some bloke. But we did get a nice eyeful of a very revealing George Clooney bulge. You could tell his religion and everything.

We learnt that Bianca and Ricky were coming back to EastEnders. So that self-tan career didn’t quite pan out, it seems.

To celebrate Daniel Craig signing up for another four Bond movies we ran some of our favourite pictures of him in very little. Oh, and in the bath.

The Spice Girls did an ad for Tesco’s that saw them live in an actual Tesco’s store (or a big studio made to look like Tesco’s) and it was busier than many of the Spice Girls’ London dates, if our eyes didn’t deceive us. That single wasn’t much better, either.

Some twonk had Dumbledore (and a whole lot of other Lord O’ the Rings crap) tattooed on his back. Then it turned out that Big D was a gayer and tattooed loverboy felt his masculinity was compromised.

We sent someone with a very strong constitution to listen to the new Britney album. He came back not bleeding but smiling!

Top favourites Hoosiers answered the questions you had hand-crafted for them. So did the absolutely filthy McFly. Then of course you put it to Samanda.

Princes Harry and William went out on the lash with the losing England rugby team. There was boozing and nudity and everything.

Ant ‘n’ Dec, beloved of the golden nuggets-gobbling sector of the British public had, it turned out, been nicking the bingo money off-of said nuggets-gobblers via TV phone-ins.

There were rumours of plans for a statue to Kylie in London’s glittering Soho. We got onto the council pronto to put in our objections.

Tom Ford was getting unnecessarily – but somehow wonderfully! – saucy with his perfume ads and even got his arse out in the name of art. Sorry, commerce.

A huge crack appeared on the floor of the Tate Modern. And it had nothing to do with Britney Spears getting out of a car. Oh, it’s art!

Jennifer Saunders of Ab Fab-fame had a new series out. And we liked it. And George Michael went cruising for cock. Nothing new there, you say, only this was for the final ever Extras.

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