Hello. So, ‘magine the scene… there you are, Cher doll in one hand, the works of Evelyn Waugh in the other, a well-used pen of Touche Éclat (Radiant Touch) in t’other, psyching yourself up to drop the frankly earth-shattering news to tes parents that you are of homo and may or may not be having real life penage deep withinside yerself in the not too distant future (or, if you’re a big lez, something similar but involving two or more of the other brand of front bottom) but, well, it all gets a bit too much and you have a wet wee and bottle it. Fair enough, really, for you fear a Daily Mail-informed wrath of retardenoid judgement.
But fear not our shiny-shoed off-of gays, for Cher and lesbetronic daughter Chastity are only poised to co-host a new reality telly show aimed at helping people come out of the closet!
It’ll be called Coming Out With Cher and Chas. Cheeeeeeenius.
That’s it, really. Little else is known of the project en ce moment, for it is more hearsay than fact, but it’s excitement all the same.
Talking of hearsay slash Hear’Say, will Michelle in Corrie Street please desist from blubbering on about that son of hers and whether or no he may or no be her biological son or no… etc.
Now let’s watch Cher in Will and Grace…