Celebrity butler Pauletta Burrell – the happily married father of two whose least favourite thing in the world is cocks – is currently giving evidence at the inquest into tragic Lady Di’s death.
And as loyal spotlight-shunning Pauletta stood in court, he revealed – with a real-life Pierrot doll tear rolling down his face – what Tragic Lady Di’s mum had called her daughter in a moment of posh person’s anger.
Oh here we go, how bad can this be? ‘You silly fool dash you,’ perhaps? Or if she was really pushing the boat out how about, ‘You daft cretin old bean’? But love that woman! She excelled herself with some excellent Showgirls speak calling her daughter ‘a whore’.
Please let her have followed it up with the use of the word ‘darlin’. Please let her have been wearing a fur coat and pearls when she said it. And please, for the love of god, let her have also told her daughter she was getting a little too old for that ‘whorey look’. J’adoring Frannie Shannie Kydd!