The Faggy is jangling her Chanel bracelets with joy (clapping is far too X Factor audience!) for Leslita Ash after hearing the good news. That’s right! Leslita, happily married to shy, sensitive, hunky dreamboat Lee Clapham – lucky bitches! – has been awarded cash monies after getting ill from spending too much time in a council people’s hospital.
The lovely big telethon-sized cheque handed over by eccentric billionaires the NHS to compensate for Leslita’s loss of earnings was five million English pounds! *sound of record needle scratching and everyone on dance floor turning to stare*.
That’s right! Five MILLION. How many fucking Win, Lose or Draws did that woman have in the fucking pipeline?