Imagine going shopping with Joanie Collins (and we don’t think she’s offering to carry your Tescos bags)

'Wait! I have some coupons I clipped out'

Miss Joan of Collins is offering herself up to become your very own personal shopping companion (imagine Trinny and Susanna but with real scissors to cut clothes up) in a very generous gesture towards the Terence Higgins Trust, the people who help out with people who have HIV or AIDS.

Yes, people. It’s the legendary Lighthouse Auction and the star prize has got to be the idea of Joanie sneering over man-made fabrics down at Harvey Nicks’.

On a much less generous note, Kylie has offered…

to pick up a pen – all by herself! – and sign (with her own hand!) a piece of furniture with her face on it. Now, how do you like that? Gets you right there doesn’t it *makes hand into fist and lightly hits… stomach area*

Anyway, we digress… you can also bid for dancing lessons from Camilla Dallerup from Strictly Cometh Dancing, a walk-on part in Little Britain USA, Tony Blair’s actual final speech to the House of Commons (now there’s someone who’s done something for the gays) and an original artwork by Tracy Emin (which will be worth something).

You can buy a ticket to that auction for just £135 from hannah.monteith@tht.org.uk.

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4 comments to “Imagine going shopping with Joanie Collins (and we don’t think she’s offering to carry your Tescos bags)”

  1. Oh my, going shopping with Dame Joan. That’s made me moist, that has.

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  2. Trust Kylie to do the absolute minimum. I don’t get why you gays love her. What has she ever done for you? I don’t think she’s even performed at Pride, has she?

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  3. Joanie needs to get a new black bra, n’est pas? She looks great except for the white polka dot bra. Linda Evans bitch slap needed.

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  4. Dame Syllvia-Lousie, Her Royal Highness was thinking the exact same thing. You won’t catch anyone in my family doing that, even Bea Windsor would be spanked if she went public with that outfit.

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